They’re about to achieve something amazing…
But then they fall asleep.
Clearly, what they need is a little guidance.
In fact, what they REALLY need are official cat jobs.
Now I’ve already talked a little about cat jobs in a general sense.
But lately my own cats have been showing real vocational talent.
So it’s time for me to step into a cat career counsellor role.
I’m happy to offer some possible furry career paths for them.
And OK, their working day is unlikely to last longer than 5 minutes.
But let’s take a look at some cat jobs that were just made for them.
Some cat jobs demand an amazing sense of style.
And each of my cats believe they have one.
They show their flair for interior design in different ways.
They’ll push layers of bedding aside, so they can shed hair directly on the sheets.
Or arrange the cushions on the spare bed so they can sleep underneath them.
But Hector takes things a step further, by focusing on the curtains as well.
He knows how to drape a curtain just right, so that it falls over his basket and blocks out enough sun to create purrfect sleeping conditions for the next 8 hours.
Of all the cat jobs, the supermodel role is the most competitive.
At least 95% of cats believe that they were MADE for this career.
And she was born drop-dead gorgeous.
We’d put her on the next plane to Paris, but she freaks out on a car trip to the vet.
Plenty of cat jobs demand a little charisma.
And Snorty’s a natural performer.
If the sun is shining, she’ll promptly set herself up on the garden table.
An audience is sure to gather.
She has a lot of cat wisdom to pass on.
It’s a shame her adoring public want to stroke her, rather than listen to her sage advice.
Jobs for cats often involve the great outdoors.
He’s hard at work, professionally assessing whether it’s safe to check out the garden.
If it looks like rain, he may need to sleep on the bed instead of under the hedge.
Sometimes, cat jobs can be a little TOO challenging.
When the lawn mower is actually turned on, she accelerates to 100 miles an hour and hides under the house.
I might need to talk her through her lawn mower motor phobia.
But I’m sure we can work our way through it.
Some cat jobs suit the bossier kind of kitty.
So this role is purrfect for Hector.
Let’s say dinner is not up to standard.
Or he hasn’t had 3 hours of solid attention lately.
He’ll quickly fix that situation with a yowl of protest.
He lets everyone know their performance needs to improve.
Other cat jobs demand a scientific approach.
Recently we bought a new rug from an online auction.
We weren’t sure what to expect.
Would it be thick and soft, as promised?
Would it be the right color?
As part of her scientific process, she discovered two things.
1. She looks AMAZING against this lovely dark red color, and
2. Our new rug will showcase left behind cat fur really well.
Where would we be without science?
Most cat jobs don’t involve actual service, of course.
So, the Snorts is not actually up to BRINGING us drinks on a tray.
But she’s very good at pointing out when it’s time to get a fresh drink of water.
She lets us know by sticking her entire head in my favorite red glass.
When she eventually comes up for air, shaking the droplets off her face, I know that it’s time for a fresh glass.
As you can see, not all jobs for cats involve sleeping for 12 hours.
The Snorts is already a part-time professional adventurer.
She’s often busy on a vital Backyard Mission.
Of course, conditions for her explorations have to be JUST right.
The sun must be out.
No dogs must be around.
And her humans must be watching and praising her efforts.
There are a few jobs for cats that have many MANY applicants.
This is one of them.
And all of my cats show real talent in this area.
They all have impressive skills in assessing cardboard box quality.
In fact, they’re SO passionate about box inspection, that I secretly think they’d do it for free.
Unfortunately, many cat jobs tend to involve humans.
There’s no way around it, really.
Luckily, Hector has truly impressive communication skills.
He really knows how to get complicated messages across in his native cat language.
His audience of humans is not that bright of course.
But he uses a combination of furry body language, intense eye contact, and persistent howling.
Heads up, humans! It’s dinner time…
And with a willing human workforce happy to support them in their career goals, cats with jobs really can go all the way to the top.
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