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Jobs for Cats – The 5 Minute Work Day

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27December 2018
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My 3 cats have some highly specialist skills.
But it’s easy for them to lose focus.

 
They’re about to achieve something amazing…
But then they fall asleep.

Clearly, what they need is a little guidance.

In fact, what they REALLY need are official cat jobs.

Now I’ve already talked a little about cat jobs in a general sense.

But lately my own cats have been showing real vocational talent.
So it’s time for me to step into a cat career counsellor role.
I’m happy to offer some possible furry career paths for them.

And OK, their working day is unlikely to last longer than 5 minutes.
But let’s take a look at some cat jobs that were just made for them.
 

Interior Designer

 
Some cat jobs demand an amazing sense of style.

And each of my cats believe they have one.
They show their flair for interior design in different ways.

They’ll push layers of bedding aside, so they can shed hair directly on the sheets.
Or arrange the cushions on the spare bed so they can sleep underneath them.

But Hector takes things a step further, by focusing on the curtains as well.
 
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He knows how to drape a curtain just right, so that it falls over his basket and blocks out enough sun to create purrfect sleeping conditions for the next 8 hours.
 

Supermodel

 
Of all the cat jobs, the supermodel role is the most competitive.
At least 95% of cats believe that they were MADE for this career.

But Calliope fits the profile of the supermodel purrfectly.
 
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She’s highly strung.
She’s very picky about her food.

And she was born drop-dead gorgeous.

We’d put her on the next plane to Paris, but she freaks out on a car trip to the vet.
 

Life Coach

 
Hector really knows how to inspire humans, and guide them to greatness.
A natural over-achiever himself, he leads by example.
 
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If only we humans had enough energy and drive to follow in his footsteps.
 

Motivational Speaker

 
Plenty of cat jobs demand a little charisma.

And Snorty’s a natural performer.
If the sun is shining, she’ll promptly set herself up on the garden table.
An audience is sure to gather.
 
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She has a lot of cat wisdom to pass on.
It’s a shame her adoring public want to stroke her, rather than listen to her sage advice.
 

Weatherman

 
Jobs for cats often involve the great outdoors.

And Hector has a real knack for reading the skies.
To do this job, he needs to poke his head out of the cat door.
For about 20 minutes.
 
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Never mind that he causes a cat traffic jam behind him.

He’s hard at work, professionally assessing whether it’s safe to check out the garden.
If it looks like rain, he may need to sleep on the bed instead of under the hedge.
 

Lawn Mowing Contractor

 
Sometimes, cat jobs can be a little TOO challenging.

When the sun is out, Calliope will snuggle up to the lawn mower catcher.
It seems like she has a real interest in landscape maintenance.
 
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But there’s a career obstacle here.

When the lawn mower is actually turned on, she accelerates to 100 miles an hour and hides under the house.

I might need to talk her through her lawn mower motor phobia.
But I’m sure we can work our way through it.
 

Supervisor

 
Some cat jobs suit the bossier kind of kitty.

So this role is purrfect for Hector.

Sure, he SEEMS laid back as he smiles at you through half closed eyes.
He rumbles away with a constant low purr.
 
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But he has a real talent for pointing out the failings of his human workforce.

Let’s say dinner is not up to standard.
Or he hasn’t had 3 hours of solid attention lately.

He’ll quickly fix that situation with a yowl of protest.
He lets everyone know their performance needs to improve.
 

Rug Tester

 
Other cat jobs demand a scientific approach.

Recently we bought a new rug from an online auction.
We weren’t sure what to expect.
Would it be thick and soft, as promised?
Would it be the right color?

Luckily, Snorty stepped in to inspect it for us.
 
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Rolling around in a range of ridiculously adorable poses, she scientifically assessed whether the new rug would work in the living room or not.

As part of her scientific process, she discovered two things.

1. She looks AMAZING against this lovely dark red color, and
2. Our new rug will showcase left behind cat fur really well.

Where would we be without science?
 

Drinks Waiter

 
Most cat jobs don’t involve actual service, of course.

So, the Snorts is not actually up to BRINGING us drinks on a tray.
But she’s very good at pointing out when it’s time to get a fresh drink of water.
 
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She lets us know by sticking her entire head in my favorite red glass.

When she eventually comes up for air, shaking the droplets off her face, I know that it’s time for a fresh glass.
 

Professional Adventurer

 
As you can see, not all jobs for cats involve sleeping for 12 hours.

The Snorts is already a part-time professional adventurer.
She’s often busy on a vital Backyard Mission.
 
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Of course, conditions for her explorations have to be JUST right.
The sun must be out.
No dogs must be around.

And her humans must be watching and praising her efforts.
 

Cardboard Box Tester

 
There are a few jobs for cats that have many MANY applicants.
This is one of them.

And all of my cats show real talent in this area.
 
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They all have impressive skills in assessing cardboard box quality.
In fact, they’re SO passionate about box inspection, that I secretly think they’d do it for free.
 

Translator

 
Unfortunately, many cat jobs tend to involve humans.
There’s no way around it, really.

Luckily, Hector has truly impressive communication skills.
He really knows how to get complicated messages across in his native cat language.
 
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His audience of humans is not that bright of course.
But he uses a combination of furry body language, intense eye contact, and persistent howling.

Heads up, humans! It’s dinner time…
 

As you can see, the sky’s the limit when it comes to jobs for cats.
They really do have their pick of a wide range of feline careers.

 
And with a willing human workforce happy to support them in their career goals, cats with jobs really can go all the way to the top.

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author
Liz Hardy is the founder of CatMamas.com, where cats are not just pets – they’re family.

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